Trump orders bald eagles on White House Thanksgiving menu after Turkey spat

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In a surprise move, condemned by animal rights activists, President Trump has ordered turkeys off the Whitehouse Thanksgiving menu this November. Instead, White House chefs have been ordered by the President to turn their skills to roasting Haliaeetus leucocephalus, the American bald eagle.

A fowl mistake?

White House sources told Conch News as a result of political geopolitical tensions between US and Turkey, Trump is furious at the bird that shares the country’s namesake and urged his base to boycott turkeys this Thanksgiving.

One aide said the President’s ire comes from frustration over Turkey’s failure to release Pastor Brunson, but  sources close to Trump’s inner circle say the President has never fully physiologically recovered from being attacked by a bald eagle in his office in December 2015, and is using current Turkey tensions to get revenge on the American symbol.

 Ill-eagle escape

Trump also warned the bald eagle may resort to fleeing to Mexico to avoid roasting and wants his ‘wall’ to be built high enough to stop them flying away from the US, estimated by experts to be a requirement of about 12,000 feet.

While around 5,000 of the majestic birds will be collected at the feet of wind turbines, it is unclear where the other 90,000,000 birds will be sourced from in time for 22 November.

Trump recently tweeted, “It’s the greatest American bird and will taste great, better than any other bird, believe me. We are finally going to make America thankful for Thanksgiving again!”

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