Thai cave diving team sent to extract Piers Morgan from Donald Trump’s arse

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The cave diving team that recently miraculously saved 12 Thai children, will attempt to extract British journalist Piers Morgan from Donald Trump’s arse.

The thirteen international divers and five Thai Navy divers pledged their expertise when it was reported Morgan had been wedged deep into a crevice within the US President’s rectum and faced slim odds of survival.

Challenges lie ahead

According to diving experts, the mission carries many technical challenges, and there are fears for the lives of Morgan and the team.

Tony Cragfast, leading water rescue analyst, commented on the perilous road that lies ahead for the team:

“It’s not just the depth that concerns me, it’s also likely they will encounter vast amounts of toxic fumes if they are to locate Morgan.”

Morgan had been orbiting President Trump since his election victory, but had got too close during one gaseous effluence and was sucked in through a backdraft. It is unclear whether Elon Musk will pledge his cave submarine to find the stranded journalist.

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