Local woman certain massive dildo hat is ‘perfect’ office Secret Santa

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A Lancashire woman has told Conch News she believes a ‘massive dildo hat’ will go down a storm at her office Secret Santa present swap. Helen Stevens, a sales executive, who purchased the item online says it is the ‘perfect gift’ for her mild-mannered accountant colleague, Laura Meekly.

Secret Santa, where members of a group or community are randomly assigned a person to whom they give a gift, has grown in popularity in the UK and is now commonplace at most offices. Miss Stevens believes the  gift will help to lift spirits at the office party where the gifts will be exchanged.

“Laura is known as ‘Laura the librarian’ in the office, and I think this gigantic dick hat will finally bring her  out of her shell. People won’t say ‘poor boring Laura’ any more – they’ll say look at that hero smashing it on the dancefloor with giant cock hat on her little head.”

Laura was unavailable for comment; their Christmas party is tomorrow.

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