Britain to invade Spain during siesta “to surprise lazy Spanish” says Johnson

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A leaked document from the British Ministry of Defence has revealed Britain is planning a surprise invasion of Spain during siesta. The shock revelation comes just days after Britain triggered Article 50 to leave the European Union.

Tensions between the two nations have been heightened over Brexit negotiations. It is thought the EU’s anointment of power to Madrid to veto trade agreements has sparked Britain’s bellicose attitude.

In the leaked document, penned by British Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, the surprise element of the attack was unveiled.

“We all know the Spaniard is a lazy sort and likes nothing better than snoozing all afternoon after a bloody great bowl of paella. We are confident our fleet will enter Cadiz at noon, surprise the Spanish and make short work of the Iberians. Long live Brexitania!”

Johnson also said the Britain would have the military edge.

“Our intelligence tells us the Spanish Armada hasn’t been updated since Drake gave it a thrashing in 1558. King Phillip is in for a right biffing.”

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