Putin to captain Russia in football World Cup as hosts bid for glory

President Vladimir Putin will captain Russia into the 2018 football World Cup finals. Speaking yesterday at a press conference in the Kremlin, the Russian leader sensationally announced he will become the oldest ever player to appear at a finals.

But despite being 65 and having no professional footballing background, Putin told reporters he was ‘confident’ he can lead his team to glory in the tournament, which kicks off in Moscow on June 14th.

Tzar Player

As well as taking a play-making midfield role in the team, Putin told reporters he would take the penalties, free-kicks, throw-ins and corners. He would also pick the team, dictate tactics and assume full responsibility for any victories, goals or eye-catching passages of play. Team mates responsible for losses or poor performances would be forced to admit their guilt in post-match interviews.

Putin also made it clear that should another Russian player find himself in possession of the football, he must immediately pass it to the President.

Commenting on the news, Russian sports minster, Pavel Koblokov said: “Putin is like a mix between Messi, Ronaldo and Mo Salah. But better. Much better.”