Kellyanne Conway’s soul found in icy depths of space
Kellyanne Conway’s soul has been found in the far reaches of the Solar System, Conch News can reveal. Donald Trump’s adviser’s soul was discovered by the Cassini spacecraft drifting though the murky atmosphere of Saturn’s largest moon, Titan.
According to Washington insiders, Conway’s soul spontaneously departed from her body after she recently defended blatant Trump administration falsehoods as ‘alternative facts’.
NASA experts working on the Cassini mission also reported faint radio waves emanating from her soul, indicating it remains metaphysically intact. NASA chief scientist, Buck Westwood working on Cassini explained:
“We have analyzed the radio waves soul and it appears Mrs Conway’s soul has been emitting a perpetual anguished scream from the lonely depths of space.”
Mr Westwood says the Cassini team were surprised that Conway’s should had survived entry to Titan’s methane–filled atmosphere which is seven-times denser than Earth’s.
“In theory, her soul should have been crushed by the toxic atmospheric pressure on entry to Titan, but perhaps her soul’s direct exposure to highly noxious political fumes on Earth explains this remarkable story,” he said.Conway declined to comment on the whereabouts of her soul, but a Trump representative said the absence of a soul was “not a precondition of joining the new administration”, and would “help greatly in the years ahead”.